Keep Me Close
by zaphyrus of the moon
Summary: I, Natsume Hyuuga, promise that this girl will never get hurt, will never shed a tear, will never run to emptiness, and will never leave my mind, for as long as I draw even the tiniest of breaths." Unbeknownst to him, he is about to break this promise
1. The Promise

Disclaimer:

I don't own Gakuen Alice. this Disclaimer goes for all the chapters in this story under one author

* * *

Chapter 1: The Promise

* * *

Setting:

Park, under the big tree, 10:45, 7/23

* * *

"_Know what, Natsume?" Mikan asked, while swinging her legs in the air._

"_No, but I bet you're gonna tell me." Answered Natsume coldly._

"_I really like it here in the academy. I'm glad I came." She turned to look at the boy who was still reading his manga. "How bout you? You like it here too, don't you?"_

"_No." Natsume answered._

"_What? Why?"_

"_Co'z I do stupid things here."_

"_So?" _

_Mikan crawled towards him and sat._

"_Don't do stupid things then." Mikan said, with a tone hinting the obvious. _

_Natsume winced. He should drop the issue now._

"_Hey, Natsume," the stubborn girl insisted. "Why do you do stupid things?"_

"_Zip it, girl. Can't you see I'm reading?" answered Natsume._

"_Aww, come on!" Mikan leaned forward to Natsume's face. "Tell me!!" _

_Her usual whining left him defeated again. _

"_Because I'm stupid. There, you happy?"_

"_No!" Mikan said sharply, suddenly getting annoyed that the boy wasn't taking him seriously. "I don't think you're stupid. So there's gonna be a reason why you do those stupid things."_

_Natsume sighed and reluctantly looked back at her. Mikan's face had that weird way of remaining adorable no matter what emotion she projects, that aside from her irritating capacity to pull off the things she wants to get from people._

"_Co'z I have to." The boy looked down, covering his eyes with his dark locks._

"_Why?" _

"_I said I have to, can't you understand simple English?" _

"_No, I can't understand. Why do you have to do stupid things? What are these stupid things? Do you get in trouble, do you get hurt? C'mon! You didn't even answer the question."_

_Guess the girl's not as empty headed as he thought she was._

"_Yes." Natsume whispered. _

"_What? You mean you DO get hurt doing those things?" Mikan was suddenly alarmed. "Poor Natsume." The girl began stroking his head, gently._

"_Hey, I don't need your pity." Natsume shove away her hand angrily, though he was enjoying the feeling. _

"_I don't. I just feel bad about not having to make you feel better every time you do something stupid." _

_Natsume's eyes became wide with surprise. No one ever said anything like that to him before._

"_Alright, Natsume." Suddenly she was inches away from his face. Natsume couldn't restrain himself from blushing. He was quite fortunate for Mikan's dense personality._

"_I, Mikan Sakura, promise you, that whenever you feel bad, or hurt, or upset, or in any other emotion that causes your heart pain, I'll be there for you. You can pick on me, peek on my underwear, push me around, burn my hair, or any other thing that you wanna do, for as long as it'll make feel better." _

_Mikan then extended her pinky for him. Natsume looked at it quizzically._

"_Am I supposed to bite that?"_

"_You're supposed to hold it with yours, stupid!" Mikan said, giggling. _

_Natsume couldn't but smile at the childishness at the moment. Though he admitted to himself that he was feeling very warm all over. With the said finger, he embraced the tiny flesh waiting for him._

"_And you, Natsume Hyuuga, promise me that everytime you feel like it, you will come to me and let me make you feel a lot better. Promise!"_

"_You don't understand what you're saying, little girl."_

"_No, but I bet you do!" _

_Mikan's eyes were sparkling. She was committing herself to the uncertain, just so he wouldn't feel any pain. What a stupid thing to do, he thought. _

"_Alright," Natsume said, "I promise."_

_With that, they shook each other's finger, and the pact was sealed. _

_Deep inside Natsume's heart, however, was another promise he's giving to himself._

'_I, Natsume Hyuuga, promise that this girl will never get hurt, will never shed a tear, will never run to emptiness, and will never leave my mind, for as long as I draw even the tiniest of breaths.'_

"_Why are you doing this?" Natsume asked, after seeing Mikan sat calmly beside him, rocking herself on the soft, thin grass._

"_Hm?" Mikan turned to him with a wondering expression._

"_Why? I mean, look at me. I'm nothing. I don't even exist in the eyes of the principle world. People look at me and they see only an empty shell. I'm a soulless thing." These words were casually said, as if he was used to saying them._

"_Well, you're not to me." Mikan's response, however, was more casual, more natural, as if really intending to say it. _

"_Natsume, you mean a lot to me." Then, her face grew a bit sad. "Please, don't hurt yourself anymore. The world isn't picking on you, and you're not a shoeless thing…"_

"_Souless." Natsume corrected._

"_Whatever. You should stop calling yourself names too, ok? Specially ones that I couldn't even pronounce right."_

_They shared a comforting stare for a while, until Natsume broke it, and continued to read his manga._

_The beating of his heart was uncontrollably fast. _

_He was filled with so much happiness, he didn't know why._

_But perhaps he wouldn't bother knowing._

* * *

Setting:

Park, 17:00, 7/24

* * *

_You mean a lot to me, please stop hurting yourself._

Natsume contemplated on those words- words that came from a stubborn, little girl- a little girl who has been in his mind the whole day.

He couldn't get her off his mind. That, and he didn't want to. Everytime he'd think of her, he'd feel warm inside.

She had that effect on him that makes him want to repeat her words over and over again.

"Mikan…" whispered Natsume, smiling.

The sun was setting, and from where he sat the view was wonderful. From a single orange ball emitted rays of crimson, filling the academy with its soothing color.

It felt nice.

To be here, to watch the sunset, to think of her- it's almost perfect. If only Mikan herself was here. But he quickly shoved the thought away. Still, to have her there by his side, watching the day end, thinking about it gave him a sense of nostalgia.

He looked at his watch- 17:45.

Time to get back.

_I just feel bad about not having to make you feel better…_

But perhaps, dropping by her room won't cause much trouble.

He stood up and with a flushed face, began to run towards the dorm she's staying at. But then he stopped. What would he say? Why would he be there late this hour? She's probably asleep, or doing something else. Is it still alright? It's been a long day, she's definitely tired, though she's usually filled with energy. Will she think it's weird?

Nah… perhaps such are just trivialities. Besides, knowing Mikan she'd probably scurry him in her room instead of shooing him away or asking why he's there.

The boy felt all giddy inside. The old Natsume would've considered such childish emotions foolish, indicating signs of weakness, but he wasn't the same Natsume. He's changed. Now he wants something, something very important.

He wants to be with Mikan- that he knows for certain. He no longer bothered to act cool, at least now that his heart longs to be with her.

"Mikan, I'm coming. Please be there like you promised!"

* * *

End of Chapter 1


	2. Destruction

WARNING:

This chapter contains scenes of child abuse. If you have any traumatic experience of the like, I suggest you skip this chapter and move on to the next.

I'm serious here friends. I wouldn't want to open any wounds out there.

* * *

Chapter 2: Destruction

* * *

Setting:

St. Anne's dormitory for girls, 19:23, 7/24

* * *

Walking in the hallway of the girl's dormitory is like walking in the city streets- utmost caution is required. He wouldn't want to get caught by the students, and especially by the quarter master.

"So, um, stupid girl, I was just wondering, no, I shouldn't throw insults at her. Ok, um, so, Mikan, I was wondering if we could spend some time together, at least, for a while. No, that's stupid. Mikan, why aren't you asleep yet? Go to bed! Crap, what am I, her sitter. Um, well, I was just checking in on you, make sure you're ok. Well, good night! Oh man, I'm so not a pro at this." He began practicing his lines while tip-toeing on the carpet floor.

He felt like a criminal doing this. By the turn he stopped and checked to see if the cost is clear.

Good, everyone's asleep.

He caught sight of Mikan's room and quickened his pace. It already occurred to him that she asleep like everyone else, but he might as well still a small kiss since he's there.

Upon reaching her door, he realized that it was slightly open though there wasn't any light. She must've forgotten to lock it.

"I should tuck her in then." he thought mischievously. Then his senses caught the smell of something a bit disturbing.

He smelled liquor.

"Weird!" he whispered. Even the workers around here don't drink.

Some of the girl's are probably fooling around with it, for experiments perhaps. Nonoko's room isn't far of, and she'd usually be using some weird concoctions.

Natsume peered through the door and tried to get his eyes accustomed to the vague light.

"Mikan?" he whispered. No answer. He still couldn't see anything though.

He tried to reach out for a switch on the wall, but it's too far off. Reluctantly he entered.

"Mi-mpf!"

A pair of big, strong arms suddenly enveloped around him and a hand was quickly covered on his mouth. He was caught off guard, and was immediately overpowered. His body was literally being crushed under the strength of this man.

_That's it, you're toast! _

Anger roused up inside of him, and he began to radiate considerable heat to force this big oaf to let him go.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you!" a familiar voice suddenly broke the silence. It drove horrendous memories back to life for Natsume as he began to contemplate the presence of the owner of that voice.

Then the light turned on.

_Ryou!_

Natsume's eyes grew wide. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

On the bed was the shirtless Ryou.

In his arms was the half naked girl whom Natsume treasure the most- Mikan.

"How nice of you to join us, Natsume."

The boy gave a sharp kick on the man's shin and he was free. He left the man clutching the battered part as he dash forward towards where Ryou and Mikan was.

"You have some kind of a death wish? I'm gonna cremate you right here and now and turn you to foot powder!"

A ball of flame materialized on his palm and he was about to throw it at his head.

"Oh, come now, Natsume! You didn't actually think I'd be that stupid, did you?"

Under the sheets Ryou revealed a knife and quickly poke the tip on Mikan's neck before Natsume could do or say anything else.

"You, bastard!"

"You make a noise, she dies. You flinch, she dies. You use your alice in any way, she dies. Simple, isn't it?"

Natsume was infuriated. His heart was pulsating with anger and fear, not knowing what to do. He stared at Mikan who had her eyes wide open but with nothing indicating consciousness.

"What did you to her?" he said angrily.

"Well, aside from my alice, nothing yet. Tis a shame her nullification doesn't work when she's asleep, else she would've overpowered me."

Natsume watch in horror as the red-haired man penetrated Mikan's shirt with his hand.

"You let go of her you ba- argh!"

His whole body fell on the floor after a solid impact on his head. He tried to get up immediately, but was again met with another hit.

"Thank you, Akito. Make sure he doesn't disturb our little honeymoon." Said Ryou to the man.

"Sure thing boss!"

With no remorse whatsoever, he picked up the boy by the neck and threw him against the wall. It weakened Natsume greatly, such that he could hardly get up. But once he was able to, a knee made brutal impact with his abdomen, causing him greater pain. A fist on his face followed the assault which sent him flying across the room. The boy could hardly move after the few yet vicious hits, but he was able to raise his head up to see to Mikan.

What he saw made him wished he didn't.

Ryou was showering the girl with kisses and he could see the man's hands roaming around places in her body that shouldn't be touched. Ryou was even moaning with pleasure, making Natsume's stomach turn with utter disgust.

"Mi-mikan…" he said under a faint breath. He struggled to get up, though he knew that he will be forced down again, and he was, with a merciless blow on the back.

"Oh, you taste so good, Mikan. Mmm…" Ryou threw the girl down on the bed and sat on top of her body. "Shame- this wouldn't have happened if you didn't interfere with my previous plans." His hands landed on Mikan's face and began caressing it.

"Life is cruel, isn't it Mikan. Cruel enough to let you go through suffering sometimes even you couldn't understand." Ryou's eyes were already filled with lust. Slowly, he began tearing away Mikan's undershirt.

"But to tell you the truth, I couldn't understand why I'm doing this either." Mikan's frail soft body received much pressure from the man's heavy hands. Places on her skin that he touched turned a bit red with immediate soreness, but Ryou didn't have the heart to make himself concern of this.

"Maybe because, I hate you so much, I feel like being cruel as well. Yet I'd be lying if I say you never filled my fantasies. Strange- me being attracted to you- a simple common girl with nothing special!" he gave Mikan a hard slap, leaving a red spot. "You- who didn't even undergo the pain that I went through." Another slap, this time harder and making a small wound on her bottom lip.

Still, Mikan remained unmoving, unconscious, still under the spell of Ryou's alice.

"I'm not going to allow that, Mikan Sakura. I'm not gonna let you pass this academy not knowing what it feels like to be used as a tool to satisfy people's desires. I'm not going to show you any mercy, nor any remorse. I will tear you apart till you're nothing but a bloody pulp." A sudden yank of her underwear left Mikan completely naked.

Then Ryou gave Mikan's face a lick, and whispered in her ear, "I'm going to show you how cruel life is. I'm going to prove to you that this academy that you love so much, doesn't love you back."

Natsume wanted to do something, anything, just to stop this nightmare.

Again he tried to get up, tried to reach out to her and save her. But he was just too weak, too powerless. His alice couldn't help him either- he was too drained of his energy after being badly beaten.

"Don't you ever give up, punk?"

Akito drop another fist on his face. Blood flew together with his whole frame and he found himself

'_I, Natsume Hyuuga, promise that this girl will never get hurt, will never shed a tear, will never run to emptiness, and will never leave my mind, for as long as I draws even the tiniest of breaths.'_

It felt like the world was letting hell lose on them. It felt like life and all its vileness was being thrown at them, and there's nothing they could do.

The man was having fun watching Natsume's shaking body insist on getting up. He has never seen anyone tolerate his punches and still have the strength to even move.

"Hehehe! I guess you'll be more fun than I thought."

Akito went to the nearest table and tore it in half with a single strike. He took one of the thick, wooden legs and broke it from the rest of the debris.

"Now we'll see how much you can take."

The first hit was on his stomach, making Natsume spit out a considerable amount of blood. He was curled in a ball having his arms around his beaten body when another blow reached his legs.

Akito for a moment regretted that, for the boy was sure to scream.

"You better stiffen that, boy, or the girl's throat gets cut."

And indeed, remembering the said 'rules', Natsume didn't scream. Yet he was twisting and turning with every strike Akito made on him- on his arms, his shoulders, his ribs, on his knees. The man shattered the boy's knee forcing Natsume release a loud moan from the excruciating pain.

Natsume, amidst all the monstrous blows, wasn't thinking of how much it hurts. He wasn't paying attention on what Akito does to him. And even though his whole body was already surrendering to the butchering, his mind didn't want to. He didn't want to lose consciousness. He wanted to be with Mikan at this very moment- to experience the destruction she was going through.

All the time, Natsume kept his eyes on the little girl being raped before him. He didn't want to leave her, now that he failed to keep her safe.

Akito noticed that the boy has stopped reacting to his blows. Has he gotten numb? He looked at the boy's face, and saw tears streaming from them. But they weren't from the pain of the body- they were from the pain of the soul.

Natsume was still looking at the direction of the bed, was still listening to the poor flesh of Mikan in friction with a sadistic man, was still feeling the torment of her small body under the weight of Ryou.

"I'm……..sorry…. Mikan…." He whispered under a mouth full of blood.

"You pay attention to me, boy!" Akito, infuriated that a child was ignoring his beating, gave Natsume's face a solid hit with the wood.

"Argh…"

The man picked up the broken body of Natsume, and took hold of his neck, elevating him from the ground. He smiled at Natsume's swollen face.

"Beg for mercy. C'mon, beg for it!" Akito said sadistically, expecting a pathetic plead.

But to his surprise and further anger, Natsume's face turned away from him, and focused once more on the scene were his love was being destroyed.

"Mikan…" he whispered, and the tears kept on flowing.

"DON'T YOU IGNORE ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!"

* * *

_They make you'd wish you'd die.  
And without even  
Trying to  
They cause the tears you cry. _

Love can hurt,  
Or make you strong,  
And help you through the night.  
So don't give up,  
And don't give in,  
"The One" is worth the fight. 

_By __Evelyn Louise_

* * *

End of Chapter 2


	3. Being There

NOTICE:

I'm no doctor, so please bear with any mistreated medical descriptions. Just picture Mikan as seriously abused but in not so critical condition.

Enjoy

* * *

Chapter 3: Being there

* * *

Setting:

Faculty Office: Elementary Division, 7:38am, 7/26

* * *

_So how did it happen?_

_It would appear two underground agents was able to penetrate the security_

_And might I ask why?_

_Well, I um…_

_Mr. Persona, we couldn't actually tell the method of infiltration, but for sure we can't consider the two as agents. They didn't come here to sabotage the academy; they just came for a sick purpose._

_Still, the fact that the academy has been breached once means that it could happen again. They now know that even our security has heel on which to strike at._

_True. But let's just be thankful that nothing of too much value was lost or destroyed._

_Nothing? Mr. Jino, how can you say, 'nothing'? Too students have been hospitalized- one was raped and the other was butchered like a piece of meat. It's a miracle he's still alive, and you still dare to say that nothing was destroyed?_

_Madam, I wasn't referring to…_

_We're talking about a traumatic experience of two innocent children and all you could care about is the goddam academy!_

_Come down, Lisa (the fortune teller, I don't really know her name.)…_

_No, Narumi! I've been watching those students of ours cry in so much suffering they're undergoing here in the academy but we've cross the line. How could we've let this happen? How can we be so concerned of some facility when children are being destroyed?_

_Madam, I assure you, we would've prevented the event if we knew it would happen._

_BUT YOU DIDN'T! YOU PUT SO MUCH SALIENCE ON THE ACADEMY THAT YOU UNDERMINDED THE SECURITY OF THOSE WHOM YOU'RE TRAINING TO SERVE YOU!_

_Facts are facts, Lisa, and what've happen has already happened._

_Yes, I know, still…_

_Hush… Relax, just cry it out… We bear the responsibility as teachers to protect them, and we've failed. Now we must accomplish the responsibility of healing the girl and we can't afford to fail this time. Anyway, Narumi, what are you planning to do now?_

…

_Narumi?_

_We leave the rest to the children._

_What?_

_We're marked with a criminal's emblem in their eyes for our failure. Now, they have they're heart only for each other, at least for the moment that the wound is still fresh._

_Can they handle this, Narumi? Can they raise each other up, now that they've fallen to the depths of pain?_

_There's nothing we can do but to trust in them. _

_In the mean time, the board of directors will see to Ms. Sakura's hospitalization. We'll make sure she gets the most advanced treatment on this god-forsaken earth._

_Thank you, Persona._

_The rest is up to you Narumi._

* * *

Setting:

Hospital, 7:23am, 7/25

* * *

"…anyway, I've analyzed blood samples and have taken some severed tissue on badly bruised part of her body. Further study shows no sigh of any potential HIV infection or any other disease. Most likely Ryou wanted to make sure they're both clean before doing anything. That answers the stench of liquor- he must've used some to sterilize his victim and at the same time give an aphrodisiac effect. Anyway, there's no serious tear on private regions, but there is a mild injury on her upper lebia."

"Oh, God…" Anna couldn't take in the description of how much Mikan was hurt. She broke down and cried, covering her face with her hands. Yuu saw through the misery and offered a shoulder. "There, there, Anna. It's going to be alright."

"True enough it will be, for as long as she gets sufficient rest. It will take months for the vaginal soreness to lose its heat and she might have some difficulty walking. Hmm… no, don't let her walk yet. We can't afford anything short of using the little energy she has."

"Thanks a lot, Imai-senpai." Ruka said, "how about physiological effects?"

"Sorry kid, that's not my field." The senior closed his bag after putting in the last of his tools. "But most likely, she won't have trouble recovering in that aspect, she was unconscious when the whole thing happened and I saw no signs of struggle on her body. If you ask me, I think it's your bestfriend who needs more help."

He was about to leave the room when he felt a tug at his uniform. He turned and there was Hotaru, looking up at him with eyes only he could read.

"Thanks, big brother." Said the little girl.

The older Imai sighed. It's kind of an awkward situation- here is her sister with her best friend abused, and he's supposed to comfort her. It's not his stand. He doesn't want to show too much affection since he already denied it from her before. But right now, nothing is more right.

He stoop down to her level and messed up her hair.

"Listen, when she wakes up, be sure to give everything she needs most- like I told you."

"Right. Food and medicine, I've memorized the time of dosage so you don't have to worry about it."

In her eyes he saw loneliness. He felt bad for her.

"The thing she needs most when she wakes up is you and your friends, Hotaru."

He didn't want to swim in the moment any further. He straightened up and bid the rest good bye.

And then there was silence. Only Anna's restrained sobs were filling the melancholic atmosphere. Yuu still had his arms around, and the girl's not about to leave from it.

"Where's Natsume confined by the way?" Yuu suddenly asked, knowing full well how the absence of words could cause more loneliness.

"Room 306. Though I doubt he'd stay put once he wakes up." Ruka answered while peeling an apple.

"Um, well, I'll go make some tea. –sniff-. Sorry bout your shirt, Yuu." Anna said and began fixing herself.

"Oh, it's alright." The boy answered, blushing.

Then Hotaru noticed that Mikan was stirring a bit. The four kids quickly went beside her.

"Ugh… Ho-hotaru?" she was the first of the four heads peering down at her that Mikan recognized. She reached out and stroke Hotaru's cheeks. Hotaru returned the affection with a squeeze on the gentle hand. "Good morning!" Mikan whispered with a smile.

"Good morning, sleepy head! You hungry?"

Mikan blinked a few times, and then tried to get up.

"Aw, aw. My head…" she suddenly reacted to a sudden throb, not only on her head but on some other parts of her body.

Her classmates were quick to react.

"Mikan! Are you alright?"

"Do you feel dizzy? Are you ok? You shouldn't get up!"

"Don't force yourself, Mikan."

What's with the fuss, Mikan thought. She looked at them with questioning eyes as she was able to sit up straight.

"Um, I'm ok. I just felt a few stabs, though I don't know why. But I'm fine now…. Hey, are you guys alright? What's with the serious look? Oh, and where am I? Did anything happen?"

None of the students could answer. They didn't know how to. They were all looking down at the floor or at something else, but not at Mikan.

"And where's Natsume? And- oh my God! Is that the time? What in the world are you guys still doing here, we're late for class!"

Still nothing.

"Mikan," Ruka suddenly spoke, and all eyes were on him. "Mikan, last night, before you slept, what was the last thing you remembered."

The girl gave it a thought and with an uncertain expression of her face, answered, "Last night? Let's see- I did math, history, some scribbling, then I took a bath. And then, um, yeah, I drank a warm glass of milk before I went to bed. Yup, that's about it. Why?"

Ruka sighed. This is going to hurt, not only for her but also for them all. He looked at Hotaru, Yuu, then Anna. All three gave expressions of approval. That means he has now the task of telling the whole tragedy.

He took hold of Mikan's hand and began.

"Mikan, last night, something happened… Something **bad** happened…"

* * *

Setting:

Forest in the Academy (the stupid author doesn't know the name), 8:35am, 7/25

* * *

"Natsume! Natsume where are you?" she called out to him, in the forest. Even though walking fast with a cane and even with the sting in every step she took, she still persisted on looking for him.

_Mikan, last night, Ryou came in to your room, and…_

"Natsume!! Natsume, please…" she called out, louder. She knows he's here. Its where he'd always go when he's upset.

…_after that, the man continued to beat him up with a stick, while you were being…_

In her mind she could already see a broken Natsume, an injured friend, an uncomforted love one in sorrow.

_Natsume, he did all he could, but he couldn't stop them. If he had used his alice, or even shouted for help, you would've been killed by Ryou…_

Tree after tree were infront of her, but still no Natsume. Where could he be?

_He tried Mikan, not only to stand up for you, to save you, but also to endure the pain he knew you were undergoing. Mikan, Natsume didn't let go of his will or his senses. He couldn't protect you, that he knew, so he just let the nightmare sink in, so you won't be alone when you wake up from it._

By a clearing he saw a familiar figure- someone in bandages and was still bleeding, probably caused by persistent attempt to walk. The figure was leaning against a tree. His teeth were clenched in apparent furry. His bangs were covering much of his face, and she could see tears streaming down from it like an open faucet. Mikan knew who the person was, and he knew the person was in pain. With as much will power as she could muster, the girl quickened her pace, not wanting to waste any time. Closing in, however, she saw something that scared her.

"Oh, no! Natsume!"

The figure was holding a knife and was slowly raising it up to the level of his neck.

* * *

Setting:

Hospital, 8:35am, 7/25

* * *

"Where is she?" Hotaru said in greeting to the boy who had just entered the room.

"In the forest, but she's going to be alright."

The girl was facing the window. Her heart was so heavy with grief and confusion.

"You should've taken her with you, Ruka. She needs to rest; you heard what my brother said." There was a hint of anger in her voice that Ruka understood as an aftermath of the incident.

"He also said that we give her the things she needed the most."

There was nothing short of calmness in his voice, since he knows full well that Hotaru at the moment would need all the comforting she needs.

Hotaru was still facing the window. By the reflection Ruka saw that her eyes still seemed cold but deeper within he also saw emotions shouting.

The girl reacted to a pair of hands landing on her shoulder. She took hold of them and pulled them, making him tighten the embrace. Ruka knew this is what she needed.

"Why did this happen, Ruka?" Hotaru began with her soft voice, "And of all people, why Mikan? She doesn't deserve this!"

"No one deserves this, Hotaru." Ruka answered, feeling Hotaru lean her head on his. "It just happened. The world's pretty wild and sometimes pretty uncertain. We can't be sure of anything, except for one- that friends will always stick to each other."

Hotaru suddenly removed his hands from her waist, and stared at him with tear-filled eyes.

"Certain? Ruka, we couldn't even protect her from a mad man. We weren't there, Ruka, we weren't there and she was suffering! What kind of friends were we? We failed… we failed…" Hotaru's voice was already shaking. "**I** failed."

"And you intend to repeat the same failure? By losing heart and not being there when she comes to you? By letting her carry this all by herself? You're right Hotaru. What kind of friends are we?"

The girl's face fell, and tears began to leave trails on her cheeks.

Ruka raised her chin to look at her. He smiled lovingly at her and began to wipe away the tears.

"Yeah, we failed. But Mikan's still here, she's still with us, and for me that's what matters. Let's be there for her, Hotaru. Please. Don't leave her in the dark."

Hotaru was looked at him for awhile, recognizing the affection and understanding present in her eyes. The she remembered, Ruka's Natsume's best friend- they've been there for each other, even amidst darkest hours.

"It's going to be alright. Trust me." Ruka whispered.

Hotaru then broke down and began cry on Ruka's chest. She let go of all the emotions. She screamed out the frustration of not being there for Mikan, of not being a best friend to her, of having to let her bear this pain.

"Natsume," Ruka thought, while still stroking the girl's head. "please, be with her."

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End of Chapter 3


	4. What Matters most

This is the last Chapter: Thanks for reading up to this point

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Chapter 4: What matters

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Setting: 

Forest, 8:35, 7/25

_I can't even protect the ones I love._

_I can't even save those suffering right in front of me._

_I can't love. _

_I wasn't meant to love._

_I don't deserve to love._

_I broke my promise. I failed to protect her. I wasn't able to do anything. I was weak- too weak._

_I'm too weak to be someone to anyone. I'd be the cause for their pain, and there's nothing I could do._

_I don't… I can't… it's, too much. _

_I have to end this._

_I have to put a stop on all the sufferings of those around me. _

_I have to finish what the world started._

_I can't withstand the sight of people in pain because of me anymore._

_I'm sorry…_

_I'm a failure, and you can hate me for that._

_But at least now, you'll have a cause for pain no longer._

_Good bye…_

He was about to plunge the blade on his throat when he suddenly heard a violent scream.

"YOU JEEEEEERK!!!!!!!!!!!"

When he looked at the direction something came in brutal contact with his face. It was a shoe, and it left a mark on Natsume' face.

The boy dropped the blade and fell down slightly dizzy. His nose was bleeding and his eyes was swirling.

"Ouch," Natsume tried to shake away the dizziness and sat up. He immediately knew who the culprit was.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, you idiot?" he angrily asked.

"Jerk," the girl right infront of him bashed the cane on his head, "I should be asking you the same question!"

"Aw! Hey, I had enough beating last night, thank you very much!"

"What kind of a man are you, making a promise and then breaking it? You think you can escape, huh? Well guess what? Mikan Sakura doesn't tolerate people who break promises."

The limping girl sat beside him, though with much struggle in the process because of the sting in the middle of her legs, and crossed her arms indicating an aggressive intention.

"Now, explain yourself." She said with mad tone of voice.

"I can't…" the boy turned his back on her.

"What?"

"I can't… I can't keep a promise… I couldn't protect you, that's why…"

"But you're promise was to come to me when you feel bad and let me make you feel a lot better."

"I made a promise to myself, that I will not let you get hurt, that I will not let anything cause you pain." His eyes were sparkling with tears and with emotion.

"I was there, Mikan. I was there when you were being… being…"

"Bieng raped, I know. Ruka told me all about it. I almost laughed at the cute look on his face as he tries to use words I can understand."

Mikan scooted closer to him. Her eyes showed no sign of despair, Natsume noticed. Strange, does she understand what happened?

"You were beaten." Mikan said, turning to her with a sad expression.

"Well, duh…" answered Natsume sarcastically. Unbeknownst to him, the idea of committing suicide has left his mind.

"How bad?"

"Hmm… let's see- a shattered knee, several broken ribs, a badly bruised beautiful face, some internal bleeding, battered sternum, broken open temple, dislocated shoulder- all in all, it's not that bad."

Mikan recoiled at every description Natsume made.

"Oh, you poor boy!"

Mikan caught Natsume off guard. She stood on her knees and embraced Natsume, pulling his head to rest on her chest.

"Hey, I said it before and I'll say I again- I don't need you pity!" Natsume reacted and shove away the embracing arms.

"I said it before and I'll say it again- I don't pity you, I just feel bad about not having to make you feel better at those times."

Natsume's eyes grew wide. Mikan was thinking of comforting him at the time when she was being abused. She doesn't put any concern on what happened, on what kind of damaged was done to her. What mattered to her was her friend, her most important treasures. What mattered to her, even now that she knew what happened to her, was Natsume.

"I made a promise, Mr. Hyugga, and I intend to keep it. I expect you to do the same."

Natsume wasn't able to hold back the tears. He burst out crying on her lap and Mikan, who was more than happy that Natsume had finally let her in his heart, lovingly began to stroke his head, giving much comfort to the boy.

"Mikan, I…..I'm sorry… I'm sorry Mikan…. I'm so sorry…. I couldn't save you…I couldn't do anything…I was weak…I…I…I couldn't afford to lose you, no, I can't… I'm sorry… Please forgive me, Mikan…" the boy continued to cry out loud screams of apologies and explanations that only made Mikan smile.

"There, there… I'm here, you're here, and that's what's important now. It's alright, Natsume, it's alright. I knew what happened, it wasn't your fault."

"But…but…I couldn't…I…"

"Hush, now. Don't hate yourself. Don't blame yourself for what happened. Please, Natsume."

It continued like that for a while; until Natsume mellowed down a bit, having released all those venom from his heart and soul.

"Natsume?" the girl said in a gentle whisper.

"hm?" the boy answered, still enjoying the feeling of the gentle hand stroking his head.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah." Natsume answered. "Mikan?"

"Yes?"

Natsume sat up, and then looking at her intently, took a deep breath. Her face is still beautiful, still angelic. She's still the same Mikan. She's still the sweet, idiotic girl whom he adores.

"There's something I wanna tell you."

"What is it?"

Natsume's face turned a bit red.

He went back to lying on her lap and waited until Mikan was stroking his head again.

"Mikan, I love you…"

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End of Story

i hope you enjoyed that!

feel free to submit reviews with comments, suggestions, faults or whatever. i accept all honest criticisms.

many thanks!


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